Private Eye

I don’t know about you, but my
detective agency is booming.

Cases coming out my ears:
the missing iPod,
mistaken memory,
hidden secret of how to
have your own home

and, for that matter, turn the world
into fantasies
or vice-versa.

My secretary also keeps the books.
We should have married years ago.

The case of the haunted crawlspace,
the case of the occupied bathroom,
the case of the last tent,
the case of the stolen kiss,
the case of the hairy eyeball,
the case of the sacrificial lamb,
the case of Natural Lite,
the case of–oh, you get the picture.

One solving the next.

What I’m saying is,
if you have a case
and want some help, I’m
gonna have to hire somebody.

Need a job?